Subordinates: The Rat-type creature

Now a lot of humans have been asking about the rat-type thing that parades itself as a dog. I have no real desire to talk about it - but as its name keeps cropping up from time to time, and many readers believed I was being a little too cruel towards it in a previous post, (yes? I still don't see a problem here), I will reluctantly take a minute or two to further elaborate on this strange little creature.

When I first laid my eyes on the rat-type creature, I probably came close to becoming the first ever cat that laughed. The thing rushed into the house, barking away at anything and everything - a sure sign of stupidity, especially when it failed to realize that threatening a cat doesn't really work when the cat in question is much bigger than you are, and has no compulsion about repeatedly slapping you in your tiny little bug-eyed face.

Even Twinkie, as stunted and under-developed as she is, still towers over this 'Joey' creature, and both of us had great fun pointing this fact out to the thing - until we realized that it could not understand a word we were saying - which kind of takes the fun out of hurling insults towards another species.

Twinkie, demonstrating a hidden artistic talent, was so taken aback by finally having another individual in the house that was smaller than herself - that she put pen to paper and created a masterpiece...



But anyway 'Joey' had her uses quite early on. I had run out of swear words to use on Monkey - but all of a sudden I had a new one. So for about 3 weeks, whenever the filthy male passed my way, I'd greet him with a cheerful "you're a pathetic little Joey aren't you?" Of course Monkey is too stupid to understand the complexities of an insult, but it still made me very happy.

Its no surprise then that Monkey and Joey have formed a friendship of sorts, an 'alliance of idiots' as I prefer to call it. I must admit they deserve eachother; between them they may be able to conjure up enough brainpower to actually understand the difference between cat litter and cat food...

What surprises me more is that Cocoa, whom I have always thought quite cat-like in her intelligence, actually has patience for Joey and tolerates her constant yapping and disturbances. I don't know if this is exhibiting loyalty to her own species, or if I've been too quick to judge her apparent intelligence. Only time will tell.

Anyway thats enough about this Joey creature. Alas she also seems to be another permanent fixture in MY house (just to remind you of that tiny little fact). Honestly I don't know what to make of my humans sometimes - perhaps I was given defective models?

One last question before I close this sorry chapter in my continuously challenging life:

What is the difference between these two:

1. imbecile dog

2. Joey


Answer: absolutely nothing!

(A beautiful cat with wit and humour to match.
What more could you ask for?)